Is she flirting with you? Probably not, according to research

December 15, 2009 at 11:53 am | Posted in Dating Statistics, Dating Tips, News | Leave a comment
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The scene: Crunch Fitness, San Francisco. Panting Guy finishes his workout on a prime window treadmill –the one where the headphone jacks still work– sweat pouring way more profusely from his face than a 20 minute workout should produce. Anxious Cardio Girl approaches, “No, I got it,” she says smiling, and wipes away all traces of his biological material from the machine before he makes his half-assed attempt at cleaning.

He thinks, she totally wants me, and continues to track her every move at the gym

She thinks, Why is this guy staring at me? Make him stop!

But it’s no one’s fault — people often misinterpret friendliness for flirting, although comparatively speaking, the male brain does it more often.

Researchers tested 280 Indiana University male and female undergraduate students’ ability to pick up on social signals. They asked the students to categorizes pictures of women as friendly, sexually interested, sad or rejecting. Although you’d think men would be experts on female body language, on average men mistakenly identified 12 percent of the ‘friendly’ women as ‘sexually interested,’ while women misinterpreted only 8.7 percent of the photos.

But men fared even worse when they were shown pictures of women flirting, and incorrectly identified 37.8 percent of them as being friendly. Women fared only slightly better by mistaking only 31.9 percent of the flirting guys as friendly.

The reason? Call it body language illiteracy.

Previously, scientists often reasoned that young men tend to “over-sexualize their social environment,” but this study’s findings suggest that women are better at interpreting facial expressions and body language than their male counterparts.

For women, this could explain a lot of failed attempts, according to an article in the Daily Mail:

The researchers also found that women overestimate men’s ability to pick up on sexual signals. They argue that many females wrongly believe that the men are well aware of their attempts to woo, but are just not interested in responding.

“Failure to pursue could be an indicator of misperception but could easily be explained by noninterest the scientists write in the journal Psychological Science.

However, when intentions are on the other side of the spectrum and men think a woman’s friendliness is a come on, they’re likely to laugh about it with their friends:

In contrast, women are very aware that males get the wrong end of the stick when they are simply being friendly.

This is because, the researchers argue, men who misconstrue a friendly gesture as a come-on are more likely to follow through with inappropriate behaviour.

Such embarrassing encounters will lodge more keenly in a woman’s memory, and she will also be more likely to discuss it with her friends.

Ouch. So you’re damned if you do, but you could be missing out on something fun if you don’t.

Source: Indiana University via Daily Mail

How to tell when someone is lying in their online dating profile

December 11, 2009 at 9:27 am | Posted in Dating Statistics, Dating Tips, News, Online Dating | Leave a comment
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To any experienced online dater, this is hardly a revelation: people lie in their online dating profiles.

Last year a Jeffrey Hancock, a researcher from Cornell University, studied the profiles of 80 online daters in New York and compared them to their physical appearance. He found  that 81% of participants lied about at least one of the three things in their profile.

We already know that women often round down their weight and men commonly add inches to their height, but Hancock’s new study to be published in an unpcoming Journal of Communication issue uncovers how profiles reveal when someone is lying.

The trick?

It’s not so much as reading between the lines as it is looking for what’s missing from the page.

Hancock found that people lying about their weight avoided writing about food, while people lying about their salary avoided writing about money. On the whole, liars’ profiles tend to be shorter, their “about me” section brief, and make scant use of the pronouns “I” or “me.”

“This is called psychological distancing, where speakers distance themselves from the lie,” said Prof. Hancock in an article, “We see it in perjury cases, in political speech and in the lab where we’re getting students to lie to one another. They are aspects of speech that reflect deception in a way we can’t control – they’re very unconscious.”

But don’t overscrutinize the next time you troll on Match.com — Hancock says its extremely difficult for someone to identify these falsehoods before the fact.

And while these fibbers are definitely being deceptive, they’re not necessarily being malicious about it.

Hancock observes that liars are motivated to enhance their profile, but still be able to accurately portray themselves when meeting in person.

But that’s not the case for all online representations of you.

A study by researchers at the University of Texas at Austin found that Facebook and other social networking sites portray a fairly accurate representation of a person.

While the reason for this difference is unclear, one thing for certain is that it’s harder to inflate your profile when friends can write on your wall and tag unflattering pictures of you.

Source: The Globe and Mail

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You’ve got mail (on Wed, Fri, Sat, and Sun)

December 8, 2009 at 9:42 am | Posted in Dating Statistics, Dating Tips, Online Dating | Leave a comment
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Improving your online dating strategy and results may be a simple as waiting until the right time to press send.

Online dating outsourcing service Virtual Dating Assistant analyzed more than 2,500 messages that they sent for their clients and found that messages sent on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday had around a 50% lower response rate than messages sent on the other four days of the week.

The online dating experts say that timing is everything — while emails sent on Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays had twice as many responses, they sent emails:

  • after business hours on Wednesdays
  • late in the afternoon on Fridays, when people are least busy at work

And they never, ever send emails on Friday evening, because the last thing you want people to think is that you’re alone and at home on a Friday night with nothing better to do than troll online.

Single female seeking tall, dark, and good credit

November 19, 2009 at 7:00 am | Posted in Dating Statistics, Dating Tips, Matchmaking | 2 Comments
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Add this to the list of dating criteria you have to worry about matching out there.

Some matchmakers are checking credit scores along with dating preferences when it comes to new clients. But it’s not so much about gold-digging as it is about finding a compatible partner.

“Financial attitudes are a very important part of a match. Somebody who is budget-minded is not going to be compatible with someone who is going to spend it before they get it,” Perfectly Matched CEO Donna Shugrue said in an article about matchmaking.

The tough economic climate is forcing people to re-access what’s really important to them when it comes to the perfect date — financial stability is now a top-three dating requirement, she says.

What do you think? Would you refuse to date someone you liked because they had bad credit? Take our poll:

Source: Coloradoconnection.com

Sad stat: 20-40 percent of men on dating sites are married

November 17, 2009 at 7:00 am | Posted in Dating Statistics, Dating Tips, Online Dating | Leave a comment
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Oldest tip in the book: wedding rings leave tan lines.

It’s like pouring salt on a wound.

You’ve already shelled out $60 a month to online dating sites, and the last thing you want to do is waste your time with a married man. But the reality is that an estimated 20-40 percent of men on dating sites are actually married, even if they say or wish otherwise, according to Ava Whaley, who teaches “Online Dating; Be Safe, Be Smart, Be Successful” at Harper College.

So how do you avoid paying to be the play thing to another woman’s husband? You could take a course, but in case you don’t live in Illinois, here are some tips for spotting a married man:

No profile picture. We get it: Online dating is a still a little embarrassing, even though more than 70 percent of the internet using population has admitted to doing it at some point in some form. But we’re all adults, and if you can show your picture to the rest of the world, so can he. The no-picture profile is the biggest sign of the married troller because he doesn’t want to be outed by his friends or co-workers.

Be wary when he says he’s separated, but not yet divorced. Yes, getting divorced takes time. But make sure he’s living in a separate residence and papers have been filed. Don’t fall for the “emotionally separated” excuse — have you ever seen that on a legal form?

Is there a tan line or indentation on the ring finger? It’s not foolproof, especially since the type of guy to be online in the first place is probably also the type of guy to forgo a ring entirely in the name of modernity, but check for signs of recently removed jewelry.

He prefers to communicate electronically. From emails, to IMs, to texts, if he’s more interested in communicating online than on the phone –even in the name of efficiency– it’s not only the sign of a bad communicator, it’s a sign he’s hiding something.

He’s really, really busy and can only meet you…
It’s hard to get away when you’ve got a wife waiting for you at home. If he’s really rigid about the times he can or can’t meet you, it’s possible he’s scheduling you around someone else. Be wary of last minute cancelations and invitations — a guy who’s really available will make time for you when it’s at your convenience.

You can’t find any information about him online. Keeping a low internet profile isn’t a badge of honor. From Facebook to newsletters, everyone’s name is bound to turn up somewhere. Even my mom — who can’t figure out call waiting — shows up online. If you’ve searched for your date online and turned up empty handed, it’s possible he’s keeping a low internet profile for a reason or that he’s lying about his name.

Trust your instinct, and if you’re in doubt get a second opinion. As your friends, or better yet, your mom to scan dating profiles and communication to see if they can smell a rat. Do you have tips that we missed? Let us know…

Source: Chicago Sun Times

Does online dating enable cougars?

November 13, 2009 at 12:00 pm | Posted in Dating Statistics, News, Online Dating | 1 Comment
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cougarcubs

Celebrities and the internet are making it easier and more acceptable for women to date younger men. Pictured: a cougar with her cub, not a date.

It is perhaps the least surprising dating statistic ever: one in three middle-aged women want a boy toy, according to a survey by UK dating site Parship.com.

No, I am surprised. Why isn’t that statistic higher?

But apparently the trend of dating younger men is a revelation for many women, and a lot more mainstream than just five years ago, when only eight percent of women said they were interested in dating a younger man.

How times have changed.

Celebrity “cougar” relationships — such as Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher– and the internet and making it easier and for older women to date a younger man, according to Dr Victoria Lukats, psychiatrist and Parship’s dating expert.

Spinning it nicely, Dr. Lukatst said, “Internet dating also encourages people to focus on what’s really important in a relationship and for many women, their priority becomes finding a partner with whom they are compatible, irrespective of age.”

Which country has the least attractive online daters?

November 12, 2009 at 11:45 am | Posted in Dating Statistics, News, Online Dating | 1 Comment
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Norwegian, Swedish, and Brazilians fare the best on BeautifulPeople.com, while Brits, such as its managing director Greg Hodge (left) are the least successful. But would Dane founder Robert Hintze (right) be accepted to his own site after his hairline finishes receding?

Norwegian, Swedish, and Brazilians fare the best on BeautifulPeople.com, while Brits, such as its managing director Greg Hodge (left) are the least successful. But would Dane founder Robert Hintze (right) be accepted to his own site after his hairline finishes receding?

 

Rejection by a date is hard enough, but how bad must it feel to be rejected by the entire dating site for being unattractive?
Ask a Brit. Only 12 percent of British men and 15 percent of British women have been accepted by super-shallow dating site BeautifulPeople.com, according to an article in The Telegraph. This statistic officially steals the “Dating Douche” title away from iPhone users and bestows it on BeautifulPeople.com founder, Robert Hintze.
The Danish website has existing members judge new applicant photos over a 48-hour period with answers ranging from ‘Yes definitely’, ‘Hmmm yes, OK’, ‘Hmmm no, not really’ and ‘NO definitely NOT.’

Continue Reading Which country has the least attractive online daters?…

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