Does Thread really work? Read Pedro’s success story…

January 8, 2010 at 2:55 pm | Posted in Dating Stories | Leave a comment
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I had been single for about 2 years, on an off relationships with people I had met on Match.com and other dating services. While I met some interesting people I always struggled to find a true connection with someone that shared not only the same interests but also values — and that special, unquantifiable chemistry.

I had tried before to find someone to date among my friends but being in my mid thirties nearly everyone is either married, in long term relationship, or i already knew them and was not interested. And I had my fair share of those dates whom people thought were “a good fit for me”.

When I first heard about Thread I was intrigued with the possibility of searching on my own among my friends’s friends. This way I could look incognito and also had a great way to explore on my own pace for potential candidates, and it was so much easier than just browsing my friends profiles on Facebook.

Shortly after I start using it i found Leanne and was intrigued by her picture (near Ayers rock in Australia). I learned more about her through our mutual friend and then got an introduction. Of course, being introduced by a friend is much easier than pinging someone one online dating site. I asked her what did she do for a living, where was she from, what education she had. We have now been dating for 3 months and i can confirm the old adage from my country: your friends’s friends are the best to date!

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How to get better profile pics: pay for it

December 21, 2009 at 2:42 pm | Posted in Dating Tips, Online Dating, Social Media | 2 Comments
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Before and after photos from http://www.lookbetteronline.com

I’m grateful I’m not single these days. Because if I were, I’d be agonizing over my inability to find or take a decent photo of myself.

Online photo editors may be able to eliminate red-eye, but where’s the tool for sculpting my chipmunk cheeks? And there’s no “undo” button for my bad decisions in wardrobe, hairstyle, or  facial expression. When is that getting feature getting added?

Until then, professional photographers can rest easy: there’s no shortage of unphotogenic daters in need of your help because while money can’t buy you love, but it can buy you a better online dating or Facebook profile pic.

If you consistently squint in photos or don’t have any that don’t include your ex, you may want to consider investing a little time and effort in a professional photo shoot.

It may sound drastic, but it’s money well spent. Slapping up that photo of you from the company holiday party could end up costing you more money as your profile gathers virtual dust.

LookBetterOnline.com offers packages for as little as $150 to have a photographer come to your house to take photos of you. And if you take fairly decent photos but could benefit from a little air-brushing, RetouchPhoto.net will retouch skin, remove wrinkles and blemishes, smooth skin, whiten teeth, remove teeth gaps, fix hair, and apply make-up on an existing photo of yourself.

For more drastic results, they remove double-chins, fix belly and love handles, slim face and body, and reshape your body. Shady, but at least your picture will match the lies you told on your profile.

Is your Facebook profile picture datable?

December 21, 2009 at 8:30 am | Posted in Dating Tips, Online Dating, Social Media | 4 Comments
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If you’re single and on the market, you may want to rethink your Facebook profile picture.

It’s already being checked by employers for risque behavior and compatibility before making hiring decisions, and chances are your profile is being checked by potential dates for those same things.

And like it or not, your profile picture is making a first impression for you.

Shirtless guy on a boat, we’re talking about you.

On a recent search of Thread.com for single guys aged 22-45, I had a hard time finding a Facebook profile that made me want to click. Either there aren’t very many cute guys in my network, or men in general don’t take their Facebook profile picture very seriously. I’m leaning towards the latter based on the plethora of joke photos and picture substitutes out there.

Here are some of the less flattering Facebook profile picture examples that don’t pass the click-test:

Camping photos: You want to come across as casual and laid back, but there is such a thing as too laid back, i.e., you don’t give a shit. If you can’t be bothered to care, why should we?

Pets: You love your pet, and you want everyone else to love your pet, but you are not your pet. It’s fine having a photo of your pet on your Facebook page, but putting it up as your profile picture suggests that you may have attachment issues.

Webcam photos: Really? You can’t find anyone to take a picture for you and you have to resort to using one taken by your computer? It’s kind of sad because it makes people think you don’t have any friends.

Your head is cocked to a 90 degree position: It’s unatural, unflattering, and we have to turn our head to see what you look like. It makes me question your judgement.

You’re miniscule: Are the only good photos of you the ones taken from 100 yards away? If you’re technically in the photo, but we can’t see what you look like, don’t use it as your Facebook profile picture.

You’re single, but with a bunch of girls or guys. If your Facebook photo shows you with your arm around someone but you’re not in a relationship, you come across as a big flirt. Some people like a chase, but the good ones don’t like drama.

You are with a bunch of girls or guys. It’s not that we can’t figure out which one in group photo is you, it’s that we worry we won’t be able to figure out who you are because you’re always with your posse. Don’t over identify with your friends.

You’re making a goofy face. Sense of humor is at the top of the list when it comes to matchmaking, but you want people to take you seriously. When you’re sticking your tongue out, abusing the distort feature on Photo Booth, or giving the camera the finger, we not going to take you seriously because you don’t take yourself seriously.

You’re not wearing enough clothes or are wearing the clothes of the opposite sex. My first impression of you should not be influenced by your boobs, amount of chest hair, or unfortunate costume parties. You may look phenomenal wearing a loosely tied toga, but I’m going to think you’re an attention whore.

You’re trying too hard: Your hair is perfectly styled, you’re sporting some trendy shades, and no one has photographed a bigger pout since the finale of last season’s America’s Next Top Model. You’re going for sexy, but even if you succeed you come across as a high maintenance prima dona.

You’re a cartoon: On top of being unable to tell what you look like, which was probably your point, we’re going to assume you’re as immature as the cartoon character that you feel best portrays you.

You use a picture of your kid. Why is it not ok to show your face, but it’s ok to show the photos of your kid? We’re going to assume you’ve peaked and are no longer attractive or no longer have a separate identify from your parenthood.

You don’t have any pictures of you at all. This includes using pictures of you from your childhood: you think you’re playing it safe, but it’s really a Big Red Flag. What are you afraid of and why are you hiding? Either you’re one of those conspiracy/privacy freaks or you’re afraid your past is going to catch up with you. Either way, it makes a people want to proceed with caution, if at all.

What did I miss?

How to tell when someone is lying in their online dating profile

December 11, 2009 at 9:27 am | Posted in Dating Statistics, Dating Tips, News, Online Dating | Leave a comment
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To any experienced online dater, this is hardly a revelation: people lie in their online dating profiles.

Last year a Jeffrey Hancock, a researcher from Cornell University, studied the profiles of 80 online daters in New York and compared them to their physical appearance. He found  that 81% of participants lied about at least one of the three things in their profile.

We already know that women often round down their weight and men commonly add inches to their height, but Hancock’s new study to be published in an unpcoming Journal of Communication issue uncovers how profiles reveal when someone is lying.

The trick?

It’s not so much as reading between the lines as it is looking for what’s missing from the page.

Hancock found that people lying about their weight avoided writing about food, while people lying about their salary avoided writing about money. On the whole, liars’ profiles tend to be shorter, their “about me” section brief, and make scant use of the pronouns “I” or “me.”

“This is called psychological distancing, where speakers distance themselves from the lie,” said Prof. Hancock in an article, “We see it in perjury cases, in political speech and in the lab where we’re getting students to lie to one another. They are aspects of speech that reflect deception in a way we can’t control – they’re very unconscious.”

But don’t overscrutinize the next time you troll on Match.com — Hancock says its extremely difficult for someone to identify these falsehoods before the fact.

And while these fibbers are definitely being deceptive, they’re not necessarily being malicious about it.

Hancock observes that liars are motivated to enhance their profile, but still be able to accurately portray themselves when meeting in person.

But that’s not the case for all online representations of you.

A study by researchers at the University of Texas at Austin found that Facebook and other social networking sites portray a fairly accurate representation of a person.

While the reason for this difference is unclear, one thing for certain is that it’s harder to inflate your profile when friends can write on your wall and tag unflattering pictures of you.

Source: The Globe and Mail

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Can you judge people by their Facebook picture?

November 10, 2009 at 9:41 am | Posted in Dating Tips, News, Social Media | Leave a comment
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Introvert or extrovert? Students in a Sonoma State University were able to accurately judge personality traits most of the time based only on photographs, whether they were staged or not. Credit: Laura Naumann

Consider yourself warned. Facebook is the ubiquitous cross-check for researching the lives and real personalities of prospective employees, friends, and dates. And a recent study confirmed what you already suspected: you are being judged by your photographs, and apparently quite accurately.

We’re not just talking about the ones of you dressed in drag or doing keg stands (although those are also very telling). Photographs contain subtle non-verbal clues that viewers use to identify the subject’s personality traits with surprisingly scary accuracy.

The experiment conducted by researchers at Sonoma State University (who knew they did research there?) used 12 students to judge 123 photos of undergraduate students they had never met before. Half of the viewers judged the undergraduates’ photos in a neutral pose, while the other six judged the same undergraduates in a spontaneous pose. The photographs were judged by the viewers based on 10 personality traits: extraversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, emotional stability, openness (open to experience), likability, self-esteem, loneliness, religiosity and political orientation.

Continue Reading Can you judge people by their Facebook picture?…

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