Found on Craigslist: Have you been naughty or nice?

December 23, 2009 at 8:45 am | Posted in Dating Stories, News, Online Dating | Leave a comment
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Proving 1) nothing is sacred anymore and 2) Christmas is getting way too commercialized if even horny douches are capitalizing on xmas to get laid, and 3) Santa is sexy, writers at Washington CityPaper created a compilation of the 10 worst/best Christmas-themed casual encounter messages found on D.C.’s Craigslist.

Brought to you via Washington CityPaper: (too good not to reblog in it’s original form)

TEN:

CL

Clarification: not actually a sex ad:

I am just looking for a woman that would be willing to give me a Christmas gift I have always wanted….her to kick me. 🙂 I’m not looking for anything sexual at all, so you do not have to worry about that. Just would like to find a woman that would like to have a guy she can kick whenever she likes. Hope to hear from you. Merry Christmas!

NINE:

CL2
For the girl with Santa issues:

It is that time of year again when santa gets VERY stressed out and he is looking for a good girl who would like to let him pay her a special visit (or a bad one who wants to get on the good list) and help santa out. Looking to come by and spread some christmas cheer. Santa has a wonderful candy can for you to suck on. And from there stuff your stocking and give you a very merry christmas! Send santa a letter and tell him what kind of girl you have been this year and what you want 🙂

EIGHT:

CL8

I have found the woman for you, good sir! It feels so good to play holiday matchmaker:

I’m looking for a man with a santa suit to satisfy a naughty Christmas fantasy.

You should be clean, drug and disease free, 30 – 45 years old.

please respond with a photo of your face and put the word “Santa” in the subject line.

SEVEN:

CL3

What woman could resist becoming this dude’s ornament?

I NEED SOMEONE TO DECORATE MY CHRISTMAS TREE AND RAISE MY SPIRITS BEFORE THE HOLIDAY! I FIND BEAUTY IN MANY SHAPES, SIZES, ETC, SO PLEASE DON’T BE SHY. PLEASE RESPOND WITH HOW YOU WOULD LIKE TO SPRUCEN UP MY TREE, PLEASE SEND A PIC. FYI I’M HOPING FOR COAL THIS YEAR SO THE NAUGHTIER THE BETTER;-)

I, too, am interested in how women intend to “sprucen up my tree” this holiday season. Do you think that’s German?

SIX:

CL9

Extra points for making a holiday pun out of your condom use:

Yes, I should put more into this ad, but the title is what I’m looking for. I get off on giving women something that their husbands or boyfriends SHOULD be able to, but can’t. While he’s plowing the snow, we can either stay inside and keep each other warm, or you can sneak out to do some “last minute Christmas shopping”, either way, I’ll give you a nice, big, wrapped present.

Read the original article and the rest of the top five at Washington CityPaper. If you find salacious Santa sex ads in your Craigslist hometown, add them to the comments.

Source: Washington CityPaper

How to get better profile pics: pay for it

December 21, 2009 at 2:42 pm | Posted in Dating Tips, Online Dating, Social Media | 2 Comments
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Before and after photos from http://www.lookbetteronline.com

I’m grateful I’m not single these days. Because if I were, I’d be agonizing over my inability to find or take a decent photo of myself.

Online photo editors may be able to eliminate red-eye, but where’s the tool for sculpting my chipmunk cheeks? And there’s no “undo” button for my bad decisions in wardrobe, hairstyle, or  facial expression. When is that getting feature getting added?

Until then, professional photographers can rest easy: there’s no shortage of unphotogenic daters in need of your help because while money can’t buy you love, but it can buy you a better online dating or Facebook profile pic.

If you consistently squint in photos or don’t have any that don’t include your ex, you may want to consider investing a little time and effort in a professional photo shoot.

It may sound drastic, but it’s money well spent. Slapping up that photo of you from the company holiday party could end up costing you more money as your profile gathers virtual dust.

LookBetterOnline.com offers packages for as little as $150 to have a photographer come to your house to take photos of you. And if you take fairly decent photos but could benefit from a little air-brushing, RetouchPhoto.net will retouch skin, remove wrinkles and blemishes, smooth skin, whiten teeth, remove teeth gaps, fix hair, and apply make-up on an existing photo of yourself.

For more drastic results, they remove double-chins, fix belly and love handles, slim face and body, and reshape your body. Shady, but at least your picture will match the lies you told on your profile.

Is your Facebook profile picture datable?

December 21, 2009 at 8:30 am | Posted in Dating Tips, Online Dating, Social Media | 4 Comments
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If you’re single and on the market, you may want to rethink your Facebook profile picture.

It’s already being checked by employers for risque behavior and compatibility before making hiring decisions, and chances are your profile is being checked by potential dates for those same things.

And like it or not, your profile picture is making a first impression for you.

Shirtless guy on a boat, we’re talking about you.

On a recent search of Thread.com for single guys aged 22-45, I had a hard time finding a Facebook profile that made me want to click. Either there aren’t very many cute guys in my network, or men in general don’t take their Facebook profile picture very seriously. I’m leaning towards the latter based on the plethora of joke photos and picture substitutes out there.

Here are some of the less flattering Facebook profile picture examples that don’t pass the click-test:

Camping photos: You want to come across as casual and laid back, but there is such a thing as too laid back, i.e., you don’t give a shit. If you can’t be bothered to care, why should we?

Pets: You love your pet, and you want everyone else to love your pet, but you are not your pet. It’s fine having a photo of your pet on your Facebook page, but putting it up as your profile picture suggests that you may have attachment issues.

Webcam photos: Really? You can’t find anyone to take a picture for you and you have to resort to using one taken by your computer? It’s kind of sad because it makes people think you don’t have any friends.

Your head is cocked to a 90 degree position: It’s unatural, unflattering, and we have to turn our head to see what you look like. It makes me question your judgement.

You’re miniscule: Are the only good photos of you the ones taken from 100 yards away? If you’re technically in the photo, but we can’t see what you look like, don’t use it as your Facebook profile picture.

You’re single, but with a bunch of girls or guys. If your Facebook photo shows you with your arm around someone but you’re not in a relationship, you come across as a big flirt. Some people like a chase, but the good ones don’t like drama.

You are with a bunch of girls or guys. It’s not that we can’t figure out which one in group photo is you, it’s that we worry we won’t be able to figure out who you are because you’re always with your posse. Don’t over identify with your friends.

You’re making a goofy face. Sense of humor is at the top of the list when it comes to matchmaking, but you want people to take you seriously. When you’re sticking your tongue out, abusing the distort feature on Photo Booth, or giving the camera the finger, we not going to take you seriously because you don’t take yourself seriously.

You’re not wearing enough clothes or are wearing the clothes of the opposite sex. My first impression of you should not be influenced by your boobs, amount of chest hair, or unfortunate costume parties. You may look phenomenal wearing a loosely tied toga, but I’m going to think you’re an attention whore.

You’re trying too hard: Your hair is perfectly styled, you’re sporting some trendy shades, and no one has photographed a bigger pout since the finale of last season’s America’s Next Top Model. You’re going for sexy, but even if you succeed you come across as a high maintenance prima dona.

You’re a cartoon: On top of being unable to tell what you look like, which was probably your point, we’re going to assume you’re as immature as the cartoon character that you feel best portrays you.

You use a picture of your kid. Why is it not ok to show your face, but it’s ok to show the photos of your kid? We’re going to assume you’ve peaked and are no longer attractive or no longer have a separate identify from your parenthood.

You don’t have any pictures of you at all. This includes using pictures of you from your childhood: you think you’re playing it safe, but it’s really a Big Red Flag. What are you afraid of and why are you hiding? Either you’re one of those conspiracy/privacy freaks or you’re afraid your past is going to catch up with you. Either way, it makes a people want to proceed with caution, if at all.

What did I miss?

How to tell when someone is lying in their online dating profile

December 11, 2009 at 9:27 am | Posted in Dating Statistics, Dating Tips, News, Online Dating | Leave a comment
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To any experienced online dater, this is hardly a revelation: people lie in their online dating profiles.

Last year a Jeffrey Hancock, a researcher from Cornell University, studied the profiles of 80 online daters in New York and compared them to their physical appearance. He found  that 81% of participants lied about at least one of the three things in their profile.

We already know that women often round down their weight and men commonly add inches to their height, but Hancock’s new study to be published in an unpcoming Journal of Communication issue uncovers how profiles reveal when someone is lying.

The trick?

It’s not so much as reading between the lines as it is looking for what’s missing from the page.

Hancock found that people lying about their weight avoided writing about food, while people lying about their salary avoided writing about money. On the whole, liars’ profiles tend to be shorter, their “about me” section brief, and make scant use of the pronouns “I” or “me.”

“This is called psychological distancing, where speakers distance themselves from the lie,” said Prof. Hancock in an article, “We see it in perjury cases, in political speech and in the lab where we’re getting students to lie to one another. They are aspects of speech that reflect deception in a way we can’t control – they’re very unconscious.”

But don’t overscrutinize the next time you troll on Match.com — Hancock says its extremely difficult for someone to identify these falsehoods before the fact.

And while these fibbers are definitely being deceptive, they’re not necessarily being malicious about it.

Hancock observes that liars are motivated to enhance their profile, but still be able to accurately portray themselves when meeting in person.

But that’s not the case for all online representations of you.

A study by researchers at the University of Texas at Austin found that Facebook and other social networking sites portray a fairly accurate representation of a person.

While the reason for this difference is unclear, one thing for certain is that it’s harder to inflate your profile when friends can write on your wall and tag unflattering pictures of you.

Source: The Globe and Mail

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You’ve got mail (on Wed, Fri, Sat, and Sun)

December 8, 2009 at 9:42 am | Posted in Dating Statistics, Dating Tips, Online Dating | Leave a comment
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Improving your online dating strategy and results may be a simple as waiting until the right time to press send.

Online dating outsourcing service Virtual Dating Assistant analyzed more than 2,500 messages that they sent for their clients and found that messages sent on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday had around a 50% lower response rate than messages sent on the other four days of the week.

The online dating experts say that timing is everything — while emails sent on Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays had twice as many responses, they sent emails:

  • after business hours on Wednesdays
  • late in the afternoon on Fridays, when people are least busy at work

And they never, ever send emails on Friday evening, because the last thing you want people to think is that you’re alone and at home on a Friday night with nothing better to do than troll online.

Moxie’s Online Dating D-bag O’ The Week

November 30, 2009 at 12:00 pm | Posted in Dating Stories, Dating Tips, Online Dating, Social Media, Uncategorized | 1 Comment
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If you’ve been waiting for a reason to hire a profile writer for your Match.com or Nerve membership, now you’ve got it: your profile could get deconstructed by dating blogger Moxieinthecity.

Moxie is a networking event planner who, in addition to planning mixers and workshops around the country, offers dating advice to loveless and luckless readers on her blog “…And That’s Why You’re Single.”

And she’s looking for love online.

Bad for her dates who fail to impress, good for readers who get to benefit from her experience and wisdom. While most days she muses about her love life and dates, once in a while she flames nauseating online dating profiles she comes across, like this most recent installment of Online Dating D-bag O’ The Week:

I’m a freelance photographer, cinematographer and film-maker. Working on a pile of different projects at the moment (“entertainment,” luckily, appears to be a recession proof industry) including a genuinely funny comedy pilot, a feature film, a reality series that currently keeps me traveling the country, and…a few scripts of my own. When I have time, I produce stuff for other folks. This month I’m directing and producing a short I co-wrote. Busy.

(TRANSLATION: I’m such a bastard that I can’t work with anyone and can only work for myself.I;m also such a raging narcissist that I have to handle every aspect of a project because, well, nobody compares to ME. Take it easy, Spielberg.)

This guy breaks rule #2 when it comes to online dating profiles: don’t be braggadacious (#1 is showing scantily clad or shirtless photos of you –Not cute). The braggart comes in several flavors — the globe trotting traveler, the literary savant, the extreme sport tool–always easily identifiable by detail using a list of some sort in his online profile, like this guy who rattles off his “projects.” Apparently he thinks people are as easily impressed with his accomplishments as he is.

Online dating tip: If you’re going to be a resume rattling narcissist, don’t lead with it. Bury it at the end where we may have found something to like about you and can excuse a little self-promotion.

But while any experienced dater can point out the obvious dating don’t, Moxie takes it one step further delving into the psyche of our Clearly_Successful_Artist_Guy and calling him out for being 1) a control freak and 2) the scariest type of dater: the serial entrepreneur.

I might have missed that.

Read more of her deconstruction here.

Online dating rule: never send money to someone you haven’t met

November 24, 2009 at 8:03 am | Posted in Dating Stories, Dating Tips, News, Online Dating | Leave a comment
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This should have been a no-brainer, but apparently a man swindled almost £100 from British women he met on FriendsReunited.com, a UK-based dating website.

By posing as a U.S. Special Forces officer called Captain Antonio Grosso, a supposed Afghanistan war hero, the con artist spun tales of caring for his cancer stricken son after his wife died three years ago. And by the way, would you mind lending me £450 to pay for his hospital bill. You will? Great, just wire the money to this Nigerian bank account…

Using a fabricated profile, fake pictures, legitimate seeming email addresses, and forged military emails and documents,  the man was able to gain the trust of up to 20 women, including a banker and an ex-police officer, proving once again that love is truly blind.

Although he spoke to the women nightly–proposing to one– each of the women were guilty of the first rule of internet dating: never send money to someone you’ve never met in person. And even then, why do you want to date someone with that much baggage and needs to borrow money?

A modest effort to combat the problem is RomanceScams.org, a site that tracks online dating scammers. Think you’re communicating with an online romance scammer? Take this quiz to find out.

Source: People.co.uk

Hope for the rest of us: Chat room leads to altar

November 23, 2009 at 12:10 pm | Posted in Dating Stories, Online Dating, Relationships, Uncategorized, Web Video | Leave a comment
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Before there was Facebook, Craigslist personals, and online dating sites, there were chat rooms. Yes, chat rooms. Remember those?

One couple has no shame about meeting in a local AOL chat room in 1996 (under the guise of searching for a bassist for a band –excellent cover story!), and incorporated their internet-based love story into their wedding vows.

See? You can find love online.

Source: Onlinedatingnewsblog.com

Sad stat: 20-40 percent of men on dating sites are married

November 17, 2009 at 7:00 am | Posted in Dating Statistics, Dating Tips, Online Dating | Leave a comment
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Oldest tip in the book: wedding rings leave tan lines.

It’s like pouring salt on a wound.

You’ve already shelled out $60 a month to online dating sites, and the last thing you want to do is waste your time with a married man. But the reality is that an estimated 20-40 percent of men on dating sites are actually married, even if they say or wish otherwise, according to Ava Whaley, who teaches “Online Dating; Be Safe, Be Smart, Be Successful” at Harper College.

So how do you avoid paying to be the play thing to another woman’s husband? You could take a course, but in case you don’t live in Illinois, here are some tips for spotting a married man:

No profile picture. We get it: Online dating is a still a little embarrassing, even though more than 70 percent of the internet using population has admitted to doing it at some point in some form. But we’re all adults, and if you can show your picture to the rest of the world, so can he. The no-picture profile is the biggest sign of the married troller because he doesn’t want to be outed by his friends or co-workers.

Be wary when he says he’s separated, but not yet divorced. Yes, getting divorced takes time. But make sure he’s living in a separate residence and papers have been filed. Don’t fall for the “emotionally separated” excuse — have you ever seen that on a legal form?

Is there a tan line or indentation on the ring finger? It’s not foolproof, especially since the type of guy to be online in the first place is probably also the type of guy to forgo a ring entirely in the name of modernity, but check for signs of recently removed jewelry.

He prefers to communicate electronically. From emails, to IMs, to texts, if he’s more interested in communicating online than on the phone –even in the name of efficiency– it’s not only the sign of a bad communicator, it’s a sign he’s hiding something.

He’s really, really busy and can only meet you…
It’s hard to get away when you’ve got a wife waiting for you at home. If he’s really rigid about the times he can or can’t meet you, it’s possible he’s scheduling you around someone else. Be wary of last minute cancelations and invitations — a guy who’s really available will make time for you when it’s at your convenience.

You can’t find any information about him online. Keeping a low internet profile isn’t a badge of honor. From Facebook to newsletters, everyone’s name is bound to turn up somewhere. Even my mom — who can’t figure out call waiting — shows up online. If you’ve searched for your date online and turned up empty handed, it’s possible he’s keeping a low internet profile for a reason or that he’s lying about his name.

Trust your instinct, and if you’re in doubt get a second opinion. As your friends, or better yet, your mom to scan dating profiles and communication to see if they can smell a rat. Do you have tips that we missed? Let us know…

Source: Chicago Sun Times

Does online dating enable cougars?

November 13, 2009 at 12:00 pm | Posted in Dating Statistics, News, Online Dating | 1 Comment
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cougarcubs

Celebrities and the internet are making it easier and more acceptable for women to date younger men. Pictured: a cougar with her cub, not a date.

It is perhaps the least surprising dating statistic ever: one in three middle-aged women want a boy toy, according to a survey by UK dating site Parship.com.

No, I am surprised. Why isn’t that statistic higher?

But apparently the trend of dating younger men is a revelation for many women, and a lot more mainstream than just five years ago, when only eight percent of women said they were interested in dating a younger man.

How times have changed.

Celebrity “cougar” relationships — such as Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher– and the internet and making it easier and for older women to date a younger man, according to Dr Victoria Lukats, psychiatrist and Parship’s dating expert.

Spinning it nicely, Dr. Lukatst said, “Internet dating also encourages people to focus on what’s really important in a relationship and for many women, their priority becomes finding a partner with whom they are compatible, irrespective of age.”

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