A Toast to Jim and Jenny

April 7, 2010 at 10:31 am | Posted in Dating Tips, Relationships | Leave a comment
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It’s not my forte to dish on celeb couplings and decouplings. After all, who am I to have an opinion about people I don’t know, not to mention I consider celebs people just like you and I (particularly the likes of Jim Carrey – I’ve had lunch with him and he couldn’t be sweeter, smarter, more real). Buuuuuuuut… yesterday when Jim and Jenny announced the news of their breakup, surprisingly to me, I was profoundly struck. If you missed it, the twosome left little for speculation (in a very unHollywood move), by personally and very maturely (which only makes me love them that much more) announcing their breakup via Twitter:

Jim Carrey: Jenny and I have just ended our 5yr relationship. I’m grateful 4 the many blessings we’ve shared and I wish her the very best! S’okay!

Jenny McCarthy: Im so grateful for the years Jim and I had together. I will stay committed to Jane and will always keep Jim as a leading man in my heart.

As expected the wire went abuzz with questions surrounding what could have gone wrong, especially since they seemed like the perfect couple, publicly supporting each other and just as recently as Valentine’s Day Jenny offered up a grand display of love in the sky for Jim, to which he replied via Twitter his massive appreciation and love for Jenny. Frankly though, I could care less… that’s between the two of them. I think, the media focus should be on what went right. Finally, a high profile celeb couple separated respectfully. But you won’t see the media cover that. It will dig for shame, betrayal, dirt of any kind. That’s how jaded we’ve become. My guess – it won’t find any. But instead of shining a teachable light on this wonderful couple, it will just move on to find an ugly, scandal-ridden breakup.

Continue Reading A Toast to Jim and Jenny…

People Change

January 4, 2010 at 8:00 am | Posted in Dating Stories | Leave a comment
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Simone Grant is writer from NYC.  She blogs daily at Sex, Lies and Dating in the City.

People change, but not always the way we want them to.  I’m just going to throw that out there as a starting point.

The new year had me thinking of this story (first told on my blog a couple of months ago).  A long, long time ago I was a young college student.  Not a young, naive college student.  I don’t, actually, remember ever being naive.  But I was young.  And for a while I had this boyfriend who I’ll call D.  D was very, very cute.  And kinda not very bright.  But very, very cute.  He was a few years older than me and claimed to have graduated from college a couple of years earlier (not the same school I went to) but I never entirely believed him because, as I already mentioned, he was kinda not very bright.  I’d like to also mention that he was a really great guy, in a lot of ways.  He volunteered at a local nursing home and was good to his family (babysat for his sister’s kids, for example).  And the sex was great.

Anyway, we split up for a fairly mundane reason, but I never really regretted it.  I didn’t see us having a future.  Just lots of fun while it lasted.

Skip to a few years after I graduated when I get a call from my mom.  D had called her and told her that he never stopped thinking about me and really wanted to get in touch with me (which translated in my mind to, he just got out of a relationship and was dreaming of gfs past).  My mom didn’t give him my number, but she did take his for me.  And I was curious (read – not seeing anyone special) and so I called him.

He was still living in the same place, doing an even crappier job than the one he had when I was seeing him (at this point I was finishing up grad school), a few hours outside of NYC.  His brother, however, happened to live just around the corner from me.  So we made plans for him to spend the next weekend with his brother.  I agreed to have dinner with him on Friday night.  Nothing more.

A good friend of mine from college happened to work at a fairly swanky french restaurant.  And I knew that if I asked nicely he could comp us our dinners/drinks.  I barely ever went anywhere really nice, being a grad student, and I figured it would make the night extra-special.  BAD MOVE.  When it came time to order, D got all panicky(he was intimidated by the restaurant and the menu) and just ordered the same thing I did.  I can’t recall exactly what it was, other than it was seafood.  And it turns out that D despised seafood.  So he spent the dinner pushing his food around his plate like a child.  It seems that, while I had grown and developed some more sophisticated tastes, D was still living off of beer and wings (which I love, btw) and pizza.  Add to that that we had nothing to talk about anymore.  Absolutely nothing. I kept trying to think of things to say, but his answers were all either monosyllabic or ridiculous. My swanky dinner was a total disaster.

So you’d imagine that I gave him a hug goodnight and never saw him again.  No, don’t be silly.  I brought him back to my place and had really, really bad sex with him.

??

Not only didn’t we get along as people anymore, but the sex also went bad.  Whatever it was that made the sex amazing just a few years earlier was gone.  And what we were left with was awful.  Really, really awful.

I guess it just comes down to this – people change.  Not because we want them to.  And not in ways you’d expect.  But they do.  We all do.  A little bit everyday.  No one stays the same.  Not for long.  The bond that D and I had, it wasn’t that deep to begin with, and so we didn’t stand a chance.  We’d both changed too much, become too different.  So much so that even the flicker of chemistry we still shared wasn’t enough to give us one night of good sex.

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