Found on Craigslist: Have you been naughty or nice?

December 23, 2009 at 8:45 am | Posted in Dating Stories, News, Online Dating | Leave a comment
Tags: ,

Proving 1) nothing is sacred anymore and 2) Christmas is getting way too commercialized if even horny douches are capitalizing on xmas to get laid, and 3) Santa is sexy, writers at Washington CityPaper created a compilation of the 10 worst/best Christmas-themed casual encounter messages found on D.C.’s Craigslist.

Brought to you via Washington CityPaper: (too good not to reblog in it’s original form)

TEN:

CL

Clarification: not actually a sex ad:

I am just looking for a woman that would be willing to give me a Christmas gift I have always wanted….her to kick me. 🙂 I’m not looking for anything sexual at all, so you do not have to worry about that. Just would like to find a woman that would like to have a guy she can kick whenever she likes. Hope to hear from you. Merry Christmas!

NINE:

CL2
For the girl with Santa issues:

It is that time of year again when santa gets VERY stressed out and he is looking for a good girl who would like to let him pay her a special visit (or a bad one who wants to get on the good list) and help santa out. Looking to come by and spread some christmas cheer. Santa has a wonderful candy can for you to suck on. And from there stuff your stocking and give you a very merry christmas! Send santa a letter and tell him what kind of girl you have been this year and what you want 🙂

EIGHT:

CL8

I have found the woman for you, good sir! It feels so good to play holiday matchmaker:

I’m looking for a man with a santa suit to satisfy a naughty Christmas fantasy.

You should be clean, drug and disease free, 30 – 45 years old.

please respond with a photo of your face and put the word “Santa” in the subject line.

SEVEN:

CL3

What woman could resist becoming this dude’s ornament?

I NEED SOMEONE TO DECORATE MY CHRISTMAS TREE AND RAISE MY SPIRITS BEFORE THE HOLIDAY! I FIND BEAUTY IN MANY SHAPES, SIZES, ETC, SO PLEASE DON’T BE SHY. PLEASE RESPOND WITH HOW YOU WOULD LIKE TO SPRUCEN UP MY TREE, PLEASE SEND A PIC. FYI I’M HOPING FOR COAL THIS YEAR SO THE NAUGHTIER THE BETTER;-)

I, too, am interested in how women intend to “sprucen up my tree” this holiday season. Do you think that’s German?

SIX:

CL9

Extra points for making a holiday pun out of your condom use:

Yes, I should put more into this ad, but the title is what I’m looking for. I get off on giving women something that their husbands or boyfriends SHOULD be able to, but can’t. While he’s plowing the snow, we can either stay inside and keep each other warm, or you can sneak out to do some “last minute Christmas shopping”, either way, I’ll give you a nice, big, wrapped present.

Read the original article and the rest of the top five at Washington CityPaper. If you find salacious Santa sex ads in your Craigslist hometown, add them to the comments.

Source: Washington CityPaper

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