OMG… Did She Just Say That?!?!

During my years as a New York subway rider I learned the art of eavesdropping. I found that to pass commuter time I could glean amazing insights from swiftly listening in on other people’s conversations. The things I picked up ranged from hilarious to absurd to enlightening to downright disgusting and everything in between. Since having moved to LA my easy eavesdropping opportunities have diminished drastically but lately my ears have perked up to some sentiments too juicy not to share… and guess what, it isn’t the guys who are dishing ittongue biters – it’s the ladies. So, here from my ears to your screen, a few things I’ve heard lately definitely not worth repeating:

WHAT SHE SAID: “I’m on the rag – you have no shot.” – a woman to a guy who was checking her out (at Target)

WHAT HE THOUGHT: She’s a crass, pretentious bitch who probably really needs to get laid

WHAT SHE SAID: “We can spend the evening fighting over me or you can each buy me a glass of wine.” – a woman talking to two older men (at a wine bar)

WHAT THEY THOUGHT: She’s a gold digger or potential threesome

WHAT SHE SAID: “I’ll go lesbo before I date someone short, someone bald or someone who drives an American car.” – a woman on the phone I believe talking to her mom (in Trader Joe’s)

WHAT ANYONE IN EARSHOT THOUGHT: She’ll end up an old maid living with her mom in ten years

WHAT SHE SAID: “Thanks. It’s from Bali where my ex was supposed to take me for Xmas but decided to take his apparent other girlfriend instead.” – a woman in reply to a guy who had just complimented her necklace (at a local coffee shop)

WHAT HE THOUGHT: She is so clearly not over her ex

And my favorite…

WHAT SHE SAID: “You look like Jesse James. No thanks.” – a woman turning down a drink from a tattooed guy in a leather jacket (at a bar)

WHAT HE THOUGHT: Sweet, I look like Jesse James!

I’m all for speaking your mind but this is proof that there are some things best left unsaid. Heard any juicy eavesdroppings of your own? Please share! (Comments feature is working again… I think… xo)

Live and love largely… and listen closely,

Tristan

Tristan Coopersmith is the author of MENu Dating: Taste Test Your Way to the Main Course- a single girl’s guide to falling in like, falling in love and falling into bed. Check out her book in retailers nationwide, online and on her site: www.menudatingonline.com. For musings on dating, follow her on twitter: @tristan_coop.