Sad stat: 20-40 percent of men on dating sites are married

November 17, 2009 at 7:00 am | Posted in Dating Statistics, Dating Tips, Online Dating | Leave a comment
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Oldest tip in the book: wedding rings leave tan lines.

It’s like pouring salt on a wound.

You’ve already shelled out $60 a month to online dating sites, and the last thing you want to do is waste your time with a married man. But the reality is that an estimated 20-40 percent of men on dating sites are actually married, even if they say or wish otherwise, according to Ava Whaley, who teaches “Online Dating; Be Safe, Be Smart, Be Successful” at Harper College.

So how do you avoid paying to be the play thing to another woman’s husband? You could take a course, but in case you don’t live in Illinois, here are some tips for spotting a married man:

No profile picture. We get it: Online dating is a still a little embarrassing, even though more than 70 percent of the internet using population has admitted to doing it at some point in some form. But we’re all adults, and if you can show your picture to the rest of the world, so can he. The no-picture profile is the biggest sign of the married troller because he doesn’t want to be outed by his friends or co-workers.

Be wary when he says he’s separated, but not yet divorced. Yes, getting divorced takes time. But make sure he’s living in a separate residence and papers have been filed. Don’t fall for the “emotionally separated” excuse — have you ever seen that on a legal form?

Is there a tan line or indentation on the ring finger? It’s not foolproof, especially since the type of guy to be online in the first place is probably also the type of guy to forgo a ring entirely in the name of modernity, but check for signs of recently removed jewelry.

He prefers to communicate electronically. From emails, to IMs, to texts, if he’s more interested in communicating online than on the phone –even in the name of efficiency– it’s not only the sign of a bad communicator, it’s a sign he’s hiding something.

He’s really, really busy and can only meet you…
It’s hard to get away when you’ve got a wife waiting for you at home. If he’s really rigid about the times he can or can’t meet you, it’s possible he’s scheduling you around someone else. Be wary of last minute cancelations and invitations — a guy who’s really available will make time for you when it’s at your convenience.

You can’t find any information about him online. Keeping a low internet profile isn’t a badge of honor. From Facebook to newsletters, everyone’s name is bound to turn up somewhere. Even my mom — who can’t figure out call waiting — shows up online. If you’ve searched for your date online and turned up empty handed, it’s possible he’s keeping a low internet profile for a reason or that he’s lying about his name.

Trust your instinct, and if you’re in doubt get a second opinion. As your friends, or better yet, your mom to scan dating profiles and communication to see if they can smell a rat. Do you have tips that we missed? Let us know…

Source: Chicago Sun Times

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